Breaking the Cycle of Shame in Recovery
Shame inducing is practiced by the parents to stop a child’s inappropriate behaviour. Where inducing a sense of shame in a child is actually a damage control mechanism, it gets internalised within children, if done overboard. Same is true with addicts.
The addicts do want to live a decent and rational life. They realise at some point that their addictions are a consequence of their poor choices. But the addicts with deep and underlying shame deem themselves to be unworthy and unlovable which in turn is associated with depression. This process sets in a downward spiral in the process of recovery but can be successfully stopped by a significant and powerful intervention.
Impact of shame in an addict
Most addicts face humiliation in their lives due to their addictions. This may be due to the loss of their jobs because of addictions, the uncontrollable urge they have for the substance, the ruckus they unintentionally create as a result of impaired cognitive functions, the responsibility they feel for the inconvenience caused to the family members etc. They are so many to mention. But the loss of face for the addicts takes a toll on their minds. To escape this embarrassment, the recovering addict may relapse and get back to his/her old habits resulting in further deterioration of the circumstances.
So how can this cycle of shame be healed
Healing starts in a safe atmosphere where you receive acceptance and empathy. The first step is to take help from a trained professional i.e. a psychotherapist by approaching a rehabilitation center.
- Accepting self Your definition of yourself as a worthy person is the quintessential trait at the moment. Accept that you made a poor choice in the past and work actively towards de-addicting. Self-acceptance is important to recovery because it inculcates the ideas of positivity within yourself and generates hope.
- Safe atmosphere Addicts can recover from shame in a safe atmosphere comprising loved ones and friends who receive you as yourselves and show empathy towards you. This helps you realize that you are important. There are lesser feelings of self-destruction and depression and there is ample motivation to storm through the various stages of de-addiction.
- Taking a new path Since you now know how addiction causes shame and shame in turn fuels addiction, It is important to get out of the shame cycle as early as possible. Finding a new hobby or discovering your purpose may help deviate your thoughts and keep you engaged so that your addictions slows down gradually eventually letting the sense of shame disappear.
- Finding the right therapist Though there are zillions of therapists out there, finding the right therapist for your problem is the the first step to success. Some therapists possess the expertise to identify the triggers that cause addiction in an individual and they are also capable of designing a workable action plan that is customized to suit the requirements of the addict. These therapists make sure to eliminate shame cycle in the first place to ensure faster pace of recovery in an addict.
Dealing with shame should feel like a psychological trap with no escape but you need to cope with it. It is important to understand how beautiful your life will be after you let go of shame. Forgiving yourself is part of your life. Practicing self-love makes it easier in breaking the cycle and setting on in a path of recovery.
