Co-Dependency and its effects on our relationships
Co-dependency is a behaviour or emotional condition that severely affects an individual’s ability to maintain a healthy relationship. Co-dependency is what in medical terms is referred to as a “learned behaviour” and could be passed down from one generation to the next. People with co-dependency are in a relationship that is one-sided, dysfunctional and abusive in some cases. Co-dependency can affect a spouse, parent, sibling or a friend of a person abusing alcohol or drugs. It can result in dysfunctional families where one member suffers from pain, fear, anger or shame that is either ignored or denied. A dysfunctional family could be a result of either a family member suffering from substance or other abuse, the existence of physical, mental or sexual abuse or due to a family member suffering from physical or mental illness. A dysfunctional family does not admit the problem of co-dependency and members in the family supress their emotions and needs. Attention is focused on the family member suffering from addiction and others in the family place their own needs, desires and health before their own.
Co-dependents suffer from low self-esteem and look outside for things to make them feel better. Some turn to alcohol or drugs and others develop compulsive disorders such as becoming workaholic, gambling or illicit sexual activity. Co-dependents start with good intentions and but eventually the caretaking gets compulsive and never-ending. This results in the family member suffering from addiction to not realise the results of their action and continuing their destructive path by relying on the co-dependant. Co-dependents develop a sense of responsibility from being needed and experience the same weakness as in love or friendship.
Traits of co-dependent people can be characterised as follows:
- Difficulties in decision making
- Lies and Dishonesty
- Lack of Communication
- Chronic Anger
- Intimacy or Boundary Issues
- Difficulty in identifying feelings
- Lack of Trust – in self or others
- Controlling Behaviour
- Heightened sense of responsibility for other’s actions
- Tendency to share more than their share
- Difficultly in adjusting to change
- Unhealthy Dependence on relationships
- Constant need for approval
For more information about co-dependency or for help, reach us +91 77999 19293.
