Dangers of codependency in addiction

Co-dependency generally results when a single partner works very hard to care for the addicted loved one that the co-dependent individual’s needs are so much neglected so that it can result in poor health, low self-esteem, depression, and other mental and physical consequences in the co-dependent partner. Co-dependency is dangerous because it not only enables the addiction in the addict but also results in a destructive relationship that is both abusive and un-fulfilling for both the partners.

An addict may find it more challenging to quit his/her addiction when living with a co-dependent spouse. In addition to this, the co-dependent partner can make also it difficult for the addict to stick to the post-treatment sobriety maintenance plan, resulting in relapse and a returning to destructive, drug-abusing behaviour yet again. The enabler is to blame in such circumstances for the undue attention and heeding traits that they exhibit towards the addict.

WHAT CAUSES CODEPENDENCY?

Low-self-esteem

A co-dependent individual in a partnership generally suffers with low self-esteem. An esteem so low that they do not find any worth for themselves outside the partnership. They also feel very unlovable outside the relationships and depend on people’s views and opinions to arrive at their self-worth. They imagine that they are not worthy of a relationship if they are not tolerant of their partner under any circumstances. As a result, they grow tolerant to the a

People-pleasing tendencies

The opinions of other people play a vital role in the life of a co-dependent individual. This person will go to any extent to make sure that others have a positive opinion of them. They may go up to sacrificing the most important hobbies or passions or valuables of their life to please others and be in their good books. This trait is characterised by intense guilt or an inability to say “no” to others. This very trait is responsible for avoiding encounter with the addict partner to stay in his/her good books.

Primary need to care for others

These people experience a primary need to care for others. They have self-judgement and lack compassion for themselves. They possess self-judgement and lack self-compassion. They put the needs of others before their own and end up caring so much that they burn out in the end. They are constantly insecure of being judged for not caring enough. Therefore, they care for the addict partner too when they should not and end up being the victims of their own beliefs. They may find that even the thought of saying “no” to the partner to cause anxiety if the partner were to become angry, displeased or upset with them.

They have no personal boundaries

Having no personal boundaries is equal to having others constantly disrespect you. In most cases, co-dependent partners are considered as vulnerable victims who are being used, disrespected and violated. Co-dependent people are always looking for someone to fix their problems, repair their networks, or look after them, rather than helping themselves by being secure, independent, and loving.

The dangers for the addict with a co-dependent partner

When a person is suffering with drugs or alcohol addiction, family members and other close relationships play a vital role in helping the person to overcome the addiction by offering emotional support, motivation, and practical aid throughout the treatment time and recovery process.

However, co-dependent relationships seem to have the opposite effect, resulting in increased chances of the addicted individual not getting help or relapsing even after receiving effective, research-based treatment. First and foremost, observation is that the co-dependent relationship serves as an enabling influence in the person’s life. The co-dependent individual may intend to help his/her loved one, but unknowingly, they subconsciously fear that the other person won’t need them anymore if the addiction is resolved. So, they tend to fuel the addiction in order to feel important.

The co-dependent person in a relationship need not essentially be a spouse. In fact, Psychology Today explains how to recognise co-dependent behaviour among children. Often, children of people addict become co-dependent, especially when an addiction has gone so far that the child feels the need to take on a caretaker role with the parent.

Co-dependent partnership in various forms can cost the life of an individual if not treated at the right time.