Toxic relationships and addiction

It is a proven fact that toxic relationships lead to addiction. To understand the relation, we need to understand what a toxic relationship is. Toxic relationship is a relationship where negativity prevails and personal boundaries are not observed. Emotional/physical abuse or both of them is a common occurrence in these relationships and this abuse is also associated with lies, manipulation and cheating. 

Toxic relationships lead to addiction in an attempt of the addict to escape the trauma arising from such relationship. In fact, toxic relationships and addiction are believed to go hand in hand creating a vicious cycle. Addiction and toxic relationships often end up in with substance abuse co-occurring with intimate partner abuse in 40 to 60% of cases. And the main concern being this behaviour extending to other relationships as well. Some of the negative consequences of toxic relationships and addiction include:

Co-dependency

Toxic relationships create co-dependency in addiction. Drugs and alcohol can poison the bonds between addicts and their loved ones, leading to co-dependency i.e. enabling the other to continue with their habits, be it addiction or the need for validation in every aspect of their lives. Simply put, addiction and relationships do not complement each other. In turn, they create an atmosphere where each of them becomes enablers for other’s bad habits by triggering their partners with arguments, demands and sacrifices. 

Co-dependency makes the relationships dysfunctional as each of the partners’ emotional needs are not being met at the end of the day. 

Relationship with others

In a toxic relationship, we can observe a secure and insecure attachment style. When people either live in or are brought up in toxic relationships, they are generally insecure. People who grow up in an emotionally secured family tend to exhibit trust and confidence in others and reflect the same. On the contrary people who are brought up or live in a toxic relation ship often exhibit insecurity and are prone to jealousy, manipulation and cheating to keep their negative behaviour hidden. Toxic relationships are painful and drive people to adapt new ways to sustain. Addiction is the result of such adapting behaviour. 

How to know if you are in a toxic relationship?

If a relationship constantly makes you feel uneasy and you are continually, lied to, be-little’d and manipulated, chances are that you are in a toxic relationship. If abuse, either emotional or physical or both is a frequent occurrence, you are surely in a toxic relationship. Jealousy, insecurity and genetic pre-disposition being the main reasons for toxicity in relationships.

Why are toxic relationships dangerous?

Toxic relationships are dangerous because the harm from such relationships extends from physical to mental. For example, a spouse in a toxic relationship may be exposed to emotional and physical trauma on a daily basis resulting in injuries and psychosis later in the life. A child who is brought up in a toxic relationship often chooses to resort to alcohol or drugs to alleviate his/ her pain and ends up an addict. This pattern is even more dangerous for both the addict and the victims who get caught up for a lifetime in a vicious cycle of physical and emotional trauma until someone chooses to break the cycle. 

How to get help?

In a vicious cycle, a toxic relationship can be caused by addiction and addiction can lead to a toxic relationship. Luckily both the addiction and the toxicity in relationships can be ended by seeking necessary medical intervention. The first and foremost necessity in recovery is adhering to the principles of the treatment. Dealing with toxicity in relationships can be hard if one is an addict and even harder if both of them are addicts. But, with treatment at a reliable rehab, things start to improve very soon and recovery could be possible.